Owning a car

Bad news first. I was going to delete this blog. Back to India my net existence was getting to nil. I was too occupied with dhaba sessions, meeting friends and phone calls that it left me with little time for activities like blog updation. But then I heard a sweet female voice saying ‘ Blog likho na. Pleaaaaase.’ And suddenly I had all the time in the world. Men will be men.

The latest activity to occupy my mind has been buying a car or rather planning to buy a car. My choice was clear. I am not fascinated by big cars as most people are. Considering the kind of traffic you experience in Delhi (which is actually much better than Mumbai or Bangalore, as people tell me), driving a big car is rather headache than comfort. And for a guy like me who drives a car like a bike, it always has to be small. So I had to buy a small car. Choices were

* Maruti Alto
* Maruti Wagon R
* Maruti Swift
* Hyundai Santro Xing
* Hyundai i10
* Chevrolet Spark

Alto was discarded because I have driven enough of Maruti 800 and it is just a slightly improved version of 800. Wanted something new.

Maruti Wagon R, discarded because I didn’t want to be a box owner.

Swift a nice car, but I can’t wait for 4 months to buy this car. Yes Swift is going on 4 months waiting period. And if u desire of having a Swift DZire, the waiting period is an year!!

Santro Xing, always dreamt of owning this. Fabulous looks with incredible performance. Love at first sight car for me.

I10, the latest entrant from Hyundai. Everyone suggested me to go for i10. It’s hot. It’s new. Go for it. But I had problems with its looks, which I never found too impressive, specially those wide headlights. As far as performance is concerned, the interiors are concerned, the car is a good buy. It’s spacious too. But it was never a love at first sight for me. Thought a lot about it but getting into two minds finally rejected it.

Chevy spark, I agree I want a small car but it’s too small even for me. I find interiors quite cramped.

As of now decided to buy Santro Xing GLS. Not aware of the run time changes in plan.

Shahrukh IPL Khan

The next big thing to happen to Indian cricket..sorry..world cricket is IPL. The Indian Premiere League. A lot of hoopla has been surrounding IPL and the auctioning of players was certainly one of the best ideas to promote a cricketing event in the recent times. As if all this was not enough for it's promotion, one man entered just to add on to the already growing sensation. This man is called Shahrukh Khan.
There are 8 teams in IPL and guess which team is hogging the limelight most? The answer is Kolkata team, the Knight Riders. King's men they are called, as King Khan owns them. This guy has something in him. If he is surrounded by hundred others, then those hundred just do the job of surrounding HIM.What is even more interesting is the Kolkata team's composition. This team actually looks like SRK's team, because he has not compromised on the star value even here.

Sourav Ganguly - India's most successful captain and the most controversial player in recent times. He grabs attention, is hot headed, never compromises and loves to be the boss.Captains the Knight Rider's as well.

Ricky Ponting - The Australin captain. Will be playing under Sourav (this in itself will b an interesting thing to watch). Ponting is already known for his hot headedness, arrogance and insult u right on the field behaviour.No less a star and recently has been under controversies.

Shoaib Akhtar - The pace sensation. Controversy and Shoaib are synonymous. Highly hot headed :), can use bat to hit teammates and get suspended then :D. A big big big star.

Chris Gayle - The silent hot headed guy. Prefers to stay silent and display his agression in a flurry :)

Ishant Sharma - The latest teen sensation who has become a star overnight and is nation's current charm. Star power u see.

And to tame all these he has hired none other than
John Buchanan - The former australian coach under whom Aussies have tasted unprecedent success, including the two world cup victories.

So getting a team composition as high profile as this was just Shahrukh's task. Even the guy(I don't remember the name), who conducted auctions said 'Shahrukh very clearly knew what he wanted'.

The mood has set in and the Knight Riders already have their theme song composed by bollywood music directors Vishal and Shekar (guys who composed for OSO).
Besides Kolkata we have other teams also like Mumbai, Hyderabad, Mohali, Delhi, Bangalore, Jaipur and Chennai, but sadly they don't have SRK to promote them.
Ya we have Miss/Mrs. Zinta/Wadia owning Mohali team, but right now she's doing a poor job. She's expected to release the song soon.

SRK loves to grab attention, like he did when he said 'I wud hv bought the Filmfare award, if I didn't get it'.
The most recent one being a display of superb sense of humour against Aamir.
'Aamir surely is number 1. I am number 2. If he thinks I m second actor to him, it's a great compliment to him...errr.. to me. That was genuinely a slip of tongue :)
I just say things. Aamir actually does them. I just said I love u Kkkkk..Kiran..He really loves Kkkk..Kiran :D'

No doubt guy has something in him. Aamir u lose this time.
You can love him or hate him, but u can't ignore him.

Businessman of the year: Shahrukh Khan

Hail the Indian media

We all know about the low standards that Indian media has achieved. Channels like Aaj Tak etc are full of idiotic stories. But today indiatimes.com surpassed them all.
They did an exclusive interview on budget 2008 with an expert. We all know the expert quite well. She's a house hold name. People just can't resist her charm.... and intelligence?

Yes, she's none other than Katrina Kaif!!

Here are some excerpts from the interview. Please read the answers carefully. Don't blame me if u miss something really really important.


What's your expectation from the budget?
To be honest, since I'm not born and brought up in India, it has been only in the last couple of years that I have witnessed and understood the Budget System in India. Every year, I hear friends around me commenting on various aspects of the Budget and I think it is quite interesting. I think my biggest expectation would be that there are no unpleasant surprises. I understand that there should be certain ups and downs for a successful economy, however, I hope there are more benefits this time around.

Any message for Finance Minister P Chidambaram?
Please keep the common man as your first priority.

Any Tax reforms you are looking forward to?
Nothing specific!. If I compare the cost of living between when I first came to India and today, the figures have gone up at a staggering rate. It would be nice if the Standard of Living met this rate at some point.

Katrina jee u r gr8 and even greater is this journalist and greatest wud be the one who starts a series of budget interviews starring Deepika Padukone, Sonam Kapoor etc

Life in a nutshell

NOTE: This story is based on true incidents. Any resemblance to persons living is purely intentional.

Once upon a time, when I was a kid.

'Yaar kal main absent tha, Maths ki copy dega kya?'

'Kal match hai subah 5 baje..NCC ground..pahunch jana'

'Is baar to Mowgli aur Sher Khan ki fight hone wali hai. Miss nahi karna hai'

High school..Intermediate

'Yaar maths ki tution mein wo bandi sahi hai'
'Kaun? Kaun? Wo jo zada question poochti hai..black suit?'
'Haan yaar'
'Abe u hvn't seen her friend in chem tution. She's even hotter'

'Yaar physics to sahi lag raha hai. Ye Chem engg entrance ki laga dega'

College

'Abe DCH release ho rahi hai is week. Chalte hain 9 se 12'
'Are nahi yar Sunday chalenge 3 se 6. SN Hall ki bandiyan aayengi'

'Yaar 3 unit bachi hain. Subah paper hai.Ismein to suppli aayegi'
'Don't worry bey. Abhi raat baki hai. Chal abhi chai peene chalte hain'
'Canteen?'
'Station chalte hain yaar, canteen ki sahi nahi hoti'

'Yaar sessional kya dein, kuch padha to hai nahi'
'Tune bhi nahi?'
'Nahi'
'Chal poori class ka bunk karate hain'

'Abe wo third year electrical sahi hai'
'Haan yaar hai to sahi'
'Kuch karte hain yaar'
'Abe propose maar. Tune abhi tak ek bhi nahi mara'
'Nahi bey'
'Abe nahi. Maar is baar. Friday 12 baje workshop ke bahar pakadte hain use'
'Chal done hai'

'Yaar engg bhi khatm ho rahi hai ab kya karein?'
'Karna kya hai, paisa kamana hai'
'Chal for a change ab padh lete hain, time aa gaya'

Job

'Yaar sara ghatiya kaam apne hi hisse mein likha hai. Ek to kaam aisa, doosra ye manager'

'Onsite bhej do yaar, onsite bhej do'

'This job sucks man'
'Big time!'

'Kya sir aajkal to dekhte bhi nahi ho. Kahin aur hi busy ho'

'Meri engagment ho gayi'
'Kya! Teri bhi!'
'Yes dost'
'Aur tera shaadi ka kya plan hai?'

'Shaadi kab kar raha hai?'
'Shaadi kab kar raha hai?'
'Shaadi kab kar raha hai?'

They sack him
Tell him to play domestic cricket and regain his form
He makes a spectacular comeback and shuts their mouths
Now they tell him 'Sir u play well but u r a lil over aged'
The only option left for Sourav to make a comeback is to reduce his age

RIDICULOUS!!!

Ha Ha Ha

Came across this fundoo joke on Ricky Ponting's reply to an Indian journalist when asked why he appealed for a grounded catch.

"Punter, Punter”
“Yes, Papa”
“Eating sugar?”
“No, Papa”
“Telling Lies?”
“No, Papa”
“Open your mouth”
“I think if you are actually questioning my integrity ..., you should not be standing here.”

Winning – The Aussie way

Second test at Sydney Cricket Ground will be remembered in history for all the wrong reasons. I hv always believed if someone defeats u and in the process shows his true character. The loss is not actually a loss but is a win instead. Atleast u come to know the true face of the person. Something similar happened at SCG. Aussies resorted to all the treacherous and unfair means to win their 16th consecutive test, exposing themselves to the whole world in the process. They showed to what extent they can fall down and lost all the respect they had earned over the years. After their triumph at MCG I thought of writing a post in their praise because I had felt that I may have not seen the mighty West Indies of the 70s but I was fortunate to see the Aussies of 90s and 2000s. I no longer think so. I just had to wait a few more days to prove myself wrong.
This match belonged to India right from the day one. It was a sure win, which later people thought will be atleast a draw and which in the end turned into a loss. Thanks to the umpires Bucknor, Benson and the third umpire who joined hands with the Aussies. I cannot buy the argument that Bucknor committed mistakes. He did not. They were deliberate crimes. One cannot commit mistakes again and again, against the same team, in the same match. The whole world knew Aussies were playing for their record equaling 16th win and this match was important for them. But Aussies themselves were very much aware that only India had the calibre to stop them, because the last match they lost at home before starting their winning streak was to India at Adelade. Dravid scored a magnificient double hundred and VVS a hundred in that match. This was at the back of their minds.
The last time when they won 16 tests in a row under Steve Waugh, they were halted by India and denied a victory in the ‘Miracle of Calcutta’ test. VVS scored a double hundred and Dravid a hundred. Roles reversed. That match India won after following on and Aussies were so scared of giving follow ons after this match that they never gave a follow on after that. So they were conscious, very conscious this time.
They had decided to win even before the match started. Either this way or that way. It all started when Ponting was given not out in the first innings. What later followed the whole world has seen and enough has been written about it. The most ridiculous of it all was the third umpire getting a decision wrong and Ponting declaring Ganguly out!! And when Ponting had no answers left for Bhajji’s off spinners he had the racism pill for him.
Enough was enough and Kumble was very right in expressing his views freely by saying ‘Just one team played in the spirit of the game’. The line that was used by Australian captain Bill Woodfull during the 1932-33 infamous Bodyline series against England
In the end Australia won it but lost hearts, lost respect, lost honour.
Down the years, Ponting's name won’t be taken with same respect as Dravid's, Sachin's, Ganguly's, VVS', Kumble's will be.